Little things remind me of my mom. A smell, a sound, a memory that flashes through my mind, the deep desire to pick the phone just to talk, and countless other reminders in daily life. But there is something close to dread that fills me at the approach of milestones and holidays. Today is the day of my mother’s birth. I can celebrate her life, … [Read more...]
Seize this Mother’s Day
If your mother is still alive today, cherish her. If you are mad at her, forgive her. If her quirks annoy you, shake it off. If your mother is breathing today, seize the opportunity to hear her breathe in person or on the phone. If you have the gift of still having a living mother, don’t waste a moment of your shared life together. Don’t text your … [Read more...]
No More Second Chances
My three children and one young man are the only people who ever called me “Mom.” This young man struggled with making bad decisions. He always came for advice before and after he made a bad decision. Sometimes he followed my counsel, but mostly he did not. I loved him, so I would always speak the truth to him. Our long history taught him that I … [Read more...]
Chapter 1 of 360 Degrees of Grief
WHAT GRIEF TAUGHT ME by Kayla Fioravanti from 360 Degrees of Grief My first awkward experience with grief was in grade school as I tried to tame my quivering bottom lip at my neighbor’s funeral. Over the span of my lifetime grief has become more than an acquaintance. I’ve stood by loved ones in their valleys and they’ve stood by in mine. I’ve … [Read more...]
Vacancy Left in the Wake of Death
Two years ago today I held my mother’s hand as she took her last breathe. Death leaves a vacancy in your life that no one can take up residence in. The loss of my mother did not leave a faint impression like a foot print in the sand that can easily washed away. Her absence has instead felt more like the loss of a limb for a tree. “The … [Read more...]
When Death is Personal & Piercing
Death can make many levels of acquaintance with us. There is some death that is remotely connected to you and gives your heart pause, like distant relatives you never met or celebrities. There is death that hits you full force in the heart. And there is the impact death can make in your life that is everywhere in between. I remember the time … [Read more...]
Glimpses of Joy
My approach to daily living has been changed by the persistence of grief that has followed the loss of someone so deeply personal to me, that she went down the very roots of who I am. I’ve been through loss before and hard times, but nothing quite like the loss of my mother. It has taken intentional action to catch my equilibrium as I adjust back … [Read more...]
Live or Die :: A Devotional
“Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” Psalm 139:16 I was standing at the gathering place when I heard my mother calling me home at an unusual hour. Heading towards her I saw something that I didn’t recognize in her countenance. Apprehension consumed me. Her words … [Read more...]
Present at the First & Last Breathe of Life
I’ve been the strong one stroking the belly of a loved one filled with cancer. The cancer so advanced that I could feel it under his thin skin as I promised him that it was okay to die that day, and reassured him that we would carry on. I stood there in the room hours later as the last breath escaped his body relieved that his pain was over and … [Read more...]
Autumn and the Brevity of Life
Autumn always reminds me of the brevity of life. The color of the leaf’s as they change reminds me of the outdoor celebration of life we held a few days after my friend Troy died. Just a few days prior to our celebration of his life, I had passed him in the cafeteria as I rushed out the door. I glanced over at him and every fiber of my body told me … [Read more...]
Upon Goodbye :: My Mom
On January 19, 2011 I picked up my parents from Sea-Tac airport after they cut their Hawaii vacation short because my mom was in severe pain. None of us had any idea that at that moment that within days she would be in the emergency room, then ICU, moved to an oncology unit, in home hospice and gone exactly three weeks later. When I gave … [Read more...]
