When I’m gone—you will be okay. It may not feel like it on that first day or even the first year. But just as my mom’s last words to me were, “I know you are going to be okay, Kayla”—I promise that you too will be okay.Here are a few words of advice for when you start your expedition to being okay on grief’s long journey.When I’m gone make sure you … [Read more...]
2021 FREE Kindle Book Deals
Where did 2021 go? As we enter that final month of the year I wanted to be sure to give my readers an opportuntity to download several of my Kindle books for FREE. Don't have a Kindle device? Directions at the end on how to use the app for free. A Little Handbook about Addiction will be available for free download Dec 1-5, 2021. This will give … [Read more...]
10 Years of Walking Through Grief
My mother was a worrier to her very core. In hospice, before she slipped away into days of silence, she looked me in the eyes and said, “I know you are going to be okay, Kayla.” She shook her head in deep agreement with herself and slipped into another long period of sleep. These were some of the last words she ever spoke to me. That she had peace … [Read more...]
Milestones of Loss
February is littered with milestones of loss. On February 7th of last year I was absorbing the waves of grief as my dear friend Holly Port passed away. Last year I posted Shine on Holly Port, Shine On and this year I am sharing her obituary from her funeral. At her funeral I was overcome with grief as they played music that we listened to over and … [Read more...]
Losing B
You always worry about your kids—even when they are adults. I remember thinking to myself on the day I met Keegan’s new friend Brandon, “Keegan is going to be okay.” With a friend like Brandon—how could he not be? You always hope that your kids will find friends that are solid—ones that you know add to their lives and build them up. That was … [Read more...]
Places are Heavily Woven with Memories
My mother was born to travel. She loved maps—with a passion—she loved history and art. I think above all her passion, she loved traveling with family—teaching, sharing, digging deeper, pointing out the details and savoring all the textures together. My dad was the driver and the leader of all vertical assents to see the world from the … [Read more...]
The Most Beautiful Thing
Part of my bedtime ritual is reading fluff. I'm looking for totally uninspiring reading that is as mindless as possible. I have a hard time sleeping, so being inspired is the last thing I seek before bedtime. Phase one of my fluff nighttime readings is People Magazine. I read it slowly and do not allow any speed reading. Last night People … [Read more...]
Life and Grief Interwoven
Little things remind me of my mom. A smell, a sound, a memory that flashes through my mind, the deep desire to pick the phone just to talk, and countless other reminders in daily life. But there is something close to dread that fills me at the approach of milestones and holidays. Today is the day of my mother’s birth. I can celebrate her life, … [Read more...]
Lunch with Pat
I met my mother’s best friend, Pat, for lunch this summer when I went to Portland for a visit. Lunch with Pat for me is far more than a shared meal. Something today made me long for a lunch date with Pat. In Pat’s smile I can see decades of laughter shared with my mother. In the special glint of her eyes I can see the mischievous moments she … [Read more...]
Bold Strokes Upon the Canvas of Life
My mother was blessed with incredible friendships throughout her lifetime. I grew up in art studios as mother’s shadow. Today I learned that her dear friend and art teacher Patricia Lyon passed away recently. Just this morning I was thinking about Pat after discovering the handmade doll she had made for my mother. I found myself reflecting on Pat’s … [Read more...]
Even in Joy
Even in joy there is a shadow of sorrow once you have experienced great loss. This week that shadow hung over me as I prepared to depart the plane at SeaTac to visit my dad. I knew ahead of me in the airport was the spot I had stood when I first realized my mother was dying over four years ago. In January of 2011 I stood outside the gates at … [Read more...]
