Four years ago, today my dear friend left this earth, and I wrote Shine On Holly Port, Shine On. And I am here to report that the light she left on earth has not dimmed. Holly Port still shines on. She comes up in regular conversation, she shows up in my actions as a friend, she still inspires others, and she is greatly loved and deeply missed by … [Read more...]
In the Echo
Today—the woman who planted dreams, trained dancers and dance teachers, and influenced generations, Miss Ann Carroll, went to dance in heaven. In the shadow of greatness, the dance studio that Miss Ann founded, continues to live out her legacy. The sound of music and laughter have echo through the halls of Ann Carroll School of Dance since 1970. … [Read more...]
The Big D
By now the news has broken. Dennis and I are divorced. Yes, it is true, I said it, divorced. Or this may be the first you are hearing of it. Some will judge me a sinner. And that’s okay. Others will know we are all sinners, and rest in the fact that God knows the details without fretting themselves about my soul. God and I have hashed it out. I … [Read more...]
10 Years of Walking Through Grief
My mother was a worrier to her very core. In hospice, before she slipped away into days of silence, she looked me in the eyes and said, “I know you are going to be okay, Kayla.” She shook her head in deep agreement with herself and slipped into another long period of sleep. These were some of the last words she ever spoke to me. That she had peace … [Read more...]
Milestones of Loss
February is littered with milestones of loss. On February 7th of last year I was absorbing the waves of grief as my dear friend Holly Port passed away. Last year I posted Shine on Holly Port, Shine On and this year I am sharing her obituary from her funeral. At her funeral I was overcome with grief as they played music that we listened to over and … [Read more...]
Shine On Holly Port, Shine On
I don’t know exactly when it happened but one day, I realized that Holly Port had become one of the women who I just couldn’t live without. And now, suddenly, I must. She could laugh, and cry, and smile, and look you in the eye with the deepest love all at the same time—and then cry some more. I admired her ability to cry easily—because there was … [Read more...]
The Life of a Real Life Overcomer
I always loved stories of overcomers when I was growing up. I read story upon story about survivors and overcomers. In real life I had the pleasure to observe a real-life overcomer in my Aunt Cathy. There was nothing quite as powerful as watching an honest-to-goodness gentle gladiator in the presence of my aunt. She was born with cerebral palsy in … [Read more...]
Losing B
You always worry about your kids—even when they are adults. I remember thinking to myself on the day I met Keegan’s new friend Brandon, “Keegan is going to be okay.” With a friend like Brandon—how could he not be? You always hope that your kids will find friends that are solid—ones that you know add to their lives and build them up. That was … [Read more...]
But Our Heart Remembers
February. It's a hard month. It's typically cold, grey and dreary. The sky weeps for days and my own heart lurches and sputters each morning. I attempt to kick start it, but historically I'm already running on empty in February. This February I wasn't 100% sure why I was gobbled up by melancholy each day. Or why hurtful words and actions that … [Read more...]
i Cuimhne (in Memory)
Earlier in December I saw a vague post that alerted me that Dr. Helena Carlson from Lewis & Clark College had passed away. I wanted to hope it was inaccurate, although I knew she had been ailing for some time. Today I set about searching the internet for clues and found my answer. The very quirky, outspoken and brilliant professor who lead my … [Read more...]
Places are Heavily Woven with Memories
My mother was born to travel. She loved maps—with a passion—she loved history and art. I think above all her passion, she loved traveling with family—teaching, sharing, digging deeper, pointing out the details and savoring all the textures together. My dad was the driver and the leader of all vertical assents to see the world from the … [Read more...]
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