The trauma we experience in life doesn’t stay in the past. It lingers—quietly shaping reactions, relationships, and even the way the body feels from day to day. Trauma isn’t just a memory; it’s an experience that can become stored in the nervous system. And for many people, traditional talk therapy alone doesn’t fully reach it.
I’ve done traditional talk therapy throughout my life. In my teens, my therapist Dr. John Sterling truly saved my life. If you’ve read my book, Puffy & Blue: The Chronicles of Nine Lives Together, you’ve already seen glimpses of those dark years. And while I was no longer drowning, I also wasn’t fully healed. From that place, I continued making decisions that led to more years of trauma.
So last year I decided it was time to go all the way to the beginning of my life and work chronologically through the trauma I have experienced using EMDR therapy.
It was long. It was hard. And it was life changing.
When I found Kimberly Schultz Counseling, all my instinct said she’s the one. And I am so glad I listened! Nine months of individual EMDR therapy and one Serenity Nature Retreat later, I feel transformed.
Kimberly has walked beside me through it all, shed a few tears with me, laughed a lot, and come through to the other side. She created a space that felt safe to explore the darkest parts of my life. Today I finished and I feel like a new person. The weight of yesterday has lifted off of my shoulders, and I can think clearly, feel the safety of my surroundings, and make wise decisions from here.
What Is EMDR?
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a therapeutic approach designed to help the brain process and integrate traumatic memories. Unlike traditional therapy that relies heavily on talking through events, EMDR works with the brain’s natural healing processes.
During an EMDR session, a therapist guides you to recall distressing memories while simultaneously engaging in bilateral stimulation. At first, it may seem unusual, but there is a powerful neurological reason behind it—it’s not woo woo, it’s grounded in real, measurable brain science.
The Science Behind It
Trauma can overwhelm the brain’s ability to process experiences properly. Instead of being stored as a normal memory, it becomes stuck, often fragmented and emotionally charged. The amygdala (the brain’s alarm system) stays activated, while the hippocampus (which helps organize memories) struggles to contextualize the event as something that is over.
EMDR appears to help unstick these memories.
Research suggests that bilateral stimulation mimics processes that occur during REM sleep—the stage of sleep associated with memory consolidation. This allows the brain to reprocess traumatic memories, reducing their emotional intensity and helping them integrate into a more adaptive narrative.
In simpler terms, EMDR helps the brain file away what once felt unbearable. I was also able to access positive memories and empowering moments that had been buried so deep in the trauma that I had forgotten them.
One of the most important truths about trauma is that it isn’t just psychological—it’s physiological.
In The Body Keeps the Score, Dr. Bessel van der Kolk writes, “Traumatized people chronically feel unsafe inside their bodies.”
Safety isn’t just something you think. It’s something your body has to learn again. I told myself a million times that I was safe. I filled my brain with positive messages—you know the idea: garbage in, garbage out? I tried the opposite. I filled my brain with bright shiny happy inputs, and still, my body held onto the trauma with a death grip.
EMDR works at this deeper level, helping both the mind and body release what has been held onto—sometimes for years or decades, or even a lifetime.
It’s Not Easy Work
Let’s be honest: EMDR is hard.
You don’t bypass pain—you move through it. Sessions can feel intense. Emotions you thought were buried can rise quickly and vividly. There can be moments where it feels like you’re right back in the experience. There were times I was so exhausted after a session that I had to crawl into bed and surrender the day early.
Honestly, I considered searching YouTube for a shortcut, but I can attest that the guidance of a trained therapist is essential—you are revisiting these traumatic memories from a place of safety and control. And as the process unfolds, you begin to notice something remarkable—the emotional charge begins to fade. The memory remains, but it no longer has the same power.
Why It’s Worth It
On the other side of EMDR, I feel a sense of relief that I never imagined was possible. Triggers lost their grip. Old patterns soften. The constant background tension quieted. Anxiety subsided.
EMDR is not about erasing the past. It’s about changing your relationship to it.
You begin to feel something that trauma may have taken away: freedom.
Freedom to respond instead of reacting.
Freedom to feel present in your own life.
Freedom to move forward without being pulled backward.
A Different Kind of Healing
Healing from trauma isn’t linear, and it isn’t always gentle. But it is possible.
EMDR offers a path that goes beyond coping—it offers transformation at the level where trauma lives. And while the journey may be challenging, it is deeply, profoundly worth it.
Because you are not meant to carry the past forever.
I am deeply grateful to have left the trauma of my past in a place safe enough to finally let it go—Kimberly Schultz Counseling.
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