I agree with Patton Oswalt’s 7 year-old daughter, Alice, after the passing of her mother Michelle McNamara, “When your mom dies you’re the best memory of her. Everything you do and say is a memory of her.” In honor of Mother's Day I am sharing some of my poetry written over the years to my mother. Growing up in my mom’s shadow I learned to … [Read more...]
The Most Beautiful Thing
Part of my bedtime ritual is reading fluff. I'm looking for totally uninspiring reading that is as mindless as possible. I have a hard time sleeping, so being inspired is the last thing I seek before bedtime. Phase one of my fluff nighttime readings is People Magazine. I read it slowly and do not allow any speed reading. Last night People … [Read more...]
What to Expect in Reality
No one tells you about the ugly side of motherhood. We all show the Pinterest-worthy and Instagram-legit photographs of smiles, glitter, holding hands and picture-perfect moments. I know I had my camera firmly in the off position last night as my emotions melted down around me at the mall. I didn’t want to be at the mall—that factored majorly into … [Read more...]
Fibonacci Sequence Applied to Real Life
I am by no means a math nerd, but when my pastor talked about the Fibonacci sequence in his sermon he had my full and undivided attention. It was as if the Fibonacci sequence confirmed exactly how I feel when one more thing gets added to my calendar. I feel overwhelmed as if that one thing came with uninvited friends. Let me briefly explain … [Read more...]
Happily Unemployable
Someone recently said in a mean comment, “Get a real job.” I am completely and totally unemployable. I’ve been self-employed since I took a voluntary layoff from my last job in 1998. But that got me thinking . . . what exactly I do? Well, here it goes. Above all I am a mother. I am the Managing Editor of 360 Degrees of Grief, Reflections of … [Read more...]
Not to Bring Up Politics or Anything
Social media has been ablaze with political, religious and social debates. It hasn’t been pretty lately. I try to avoid talking about any of those hot topics on social media. My tag line is, “wife, mother, author” and not “political activist” so I tend to stick to family, food, kittens, chickens, writing and other neutral topics. But lately … [Read more...]
Fierce Love Blurs Negative History
When I was a child my mother never let me use coloring books. She didn’t want me to learn to color within the lines. She taught me to use the entire piece of paper when I colored. She taught me that the sky should take up at least half of the page and not be a tiny blue line at the top of the page. She taught me to use all the colors in the Crayola … [Read more...]
Come Climb with Me
My daughter Selah has presented a new challenge for me this year. She has asked me to climb Steeple Rock with her in Montana when we go there in August. I have a history with Steeple Rock, memories that make my first instinct be to say “no thanks” to Selah, but I want her to have the experience of conquering Steeple Rock. Let me share my experience … [Read more...]
Glimpses of Joy
My approach to daily living has been changed by the persistence of grief that has followed the loss of someone so deeply personal to me, that she went down the very roots of who I am. I’ve been through loss before and hard times, but nothing quite like the loss of my mother. It has taken intentional action to catch my equilibrium as I adjust back … [Read more...]