Recently I learned that my Aunt Mary died. I realized that three of the six children in her family have now passed away—including my mother, Uncle Tom and now Aunt Mary. My mother grew up in a family of 6 kids. There were 3 kids born early in her parent’s marriage and 3 born after a significant gap of time. The age difference is best described … [Read more...]
My Mother’s Shadow
I agree with Patton Oswalt’s 7 year-old daughter, Alice, after the passing of her mother Michelle McNamara, “When your mom dies you’re the best memory of her. Everything you do and say is a memory of her.” In honor of Mother's Day I am sharing some of my poetry written over the years to my mother. Growing up in my mom’s shadow I learned to … [Read more...]
The Most Beautiful Thing
Part of my bedtime ritual is reading fluff. I'm looking for totally uninspiring reading that is as mindless as possible. I have a hard time sleeping, so being inspired is the last thing I seek before bedtime. Phase one of my fluff nighttime readings is People Magazine. I read it slowly and do not allow any speed reading. Last night People … [Read more...]
Life and Grief Interwoven
Little things remind me of my mom. A smell, a sound, a memory that flashes through my mind, the deep desire to pick the phone just to talk, and countless other reminders in daily life. But there is something close to dread that fills me at the approach of milestones and holidays. Today is the day of my mother’s birth. I can celebrate her life, … [Read more...]
Lunch with Pat
I met my mother’s best friend, Pat, for lunch this summer when I went to Portland for a visit. Lunch with Pat for me is far more than a shared meal. Something today made me long for a lunch date with Pat. In Pat’s smile I can see decades of laughter shared with my mother. In the special glint of her eyes I can see the mischievous moments she … [Read more...]
Remembering 9/11
The memory of 9/11 has not faded for most Americans. My memory of 9/11/01 is as vivid today as if it was only yesterday. “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” George Santayana I am incredibly honored that The Cross and the Towers has a link to the Selah Press Anthology 360 Degrees of Grief: Reflections of Hope and an … [Read more...]
Bold Strokes Upon the Canvas of Life
My mother was blessed with incredible friendships throughout her lifetime. I grew up in art studios as mother’s shadow. Today I learned that her dear friend and art teacher Patricia Lyon passed away recently. Just this morning I was thinking about Pat after discovering the handmade doll she had made for my mother. I found myself reflecting on Pat’s … [Read more...]
Even in Joy
Even in joy there is a shadow of sorrow once you have experienced great loss. This week that shadow hung over me as I prepared to depart the plane at SeaTac to visit my dad. I knew ahead of me in the airport was the spot I had stood when I first realized my mother was dying over four years ago. In January of 2011 I stood outside the gates at … [Read more...]
Seize this Mother’s Day
If your mother is still alive today, cherish her. If you are mad at her, forgive her. If her quirks annoy you, shake it off. If your mother is breathing today, seize the opportunity to hear her breathe in person or on the phone. If you have the gift of still having a living mother, don’t waste a moment of your shared life together. Don’t text your … [Read more...]
No More Second Chances
My three children and one young man are the only people who ever called me “Mom.” This young man struggled with making bad decisions. He always came for advice before and after he made a bad decision. Sometimes he followed my counsel, but mostly he did not. I loved him, so I would always speak the truth to him. Our long history taught him that I … [Read more...]
The Milestones of Birthdays
My mother was born on October 29, 1941 in Bismarck, North Dakota. Until today every time her birthdate rolled around I thought, “This was my mother’s birthday.” As if her not being alive today to celebrate her birthday took away from the fact that she was born on this very day 73 years ago. My mother is not turning 73 years-old today. She … [Read more...]