If you were accused of loving your spouse, could you be convicted in a court of law based on the evidence? Is there proof beyond a reasonable doubt or preponderance of the evidence that could convince a jury?
Is there direct evidence that supports the truth that you love your spouse? Or is there only circumstantial evidence that relies on an inference to connect it to a conclusion of fact? Is there forensic evidence? Is it all out of date?
If the answer is no to any of these questions, fix it. Marriage matters—and beyond that the heart of your spouse is a precious gift.
Do you show your spouse love through acts of kindness, showing affection, giving them words of encouragement, or show unconditional support? Do you spend time with your spouse and intentionally make time for them? Do you show interest in them and what they love? Do you listen to your spouse, serve them, or respect them? Do you compliment your spouse, take care of yourself so you can have more to give, do you battle your own demons daily so they won’t interfere with your relationship? Do you ever randomly send love notes or do something special for them?
Obviously the answer can’t be yes to all of those things. Marriage is between two imperfect broken people, but is there current evidence in your marriage that you love your spouse? Is there enough evidence to convict you in a court of law? Or even enough to bring charges against you?
Marriage is hard and messy. Life can be a trudge. Jobs and business can zap your energy. Even so, you can chose to show love every day—with a healthy dose of compassion, forgiveness, respect, time, passion, and energy added in for good measure.
“Love doesn’t just sit there, like a stone, it has to be made, like bread; remade all the time, made new.” Ursula K. Le Guin