Last night in writers group Lona Renee Fraser of Inspire Others . . .Inspire Yourself read from the book In the Growing Places by Rita J. Maggart.
I’ve learned a trick that works wonders when I need a compliment. I say to someone else what I need to hear!
For example, I may need to hear:
“You look nice today!”
“I’m proud of you!”
“You’re always so generous!”
“I love you!”
“It’s great that you never give up!”
“Thanks for caring!”
So, when I need to hear these words, I say these words of encouragement out loud.
The writer isn’t advising to say what you need to hear to yourself. That is what some pop-psychologist may advise, but instead her advice is to say what you need to hear to someone else. Bless someone else. Give abundantly to someone, other than yourself, despite void in your own needs. Look away from your own hurt. Look towards others. And in blessing others, you are filled up.
She isn’t promising that the person will turn towards you and fill your void by echoing the words back to you. Your fulfillment is found solely and completely from giving away what you need the most . . . kind words, encouragement and words of love.
That hit me. Sometimes I get lost in the hurt of unfulfilled needs. Even though, I have found that I am most fulfilled by serving (it is my love language) I can still get lost in the weeds of hurt. The above quote reminds me to serve, even when my service is unappreciated. Love even when my needs are not filled. In doing so I fulfill what I am called to do, to love through service.
We can’t allow it to be our problem when others are unable or unwilling to love in return. It only becomes our problem if we focus on the void, dwell in the hurt, and marinate in the sorrow.
I am called to love, and to love well. I am called to serve, and to serve well.
What are you called to do? Does your focus on your calling ever blur from the hurt of unmet needs?
Refocus today on giving away what you need the most with no expectations of return.
Carol Wilson says
God must be smiling so sweetly as He looks upon His daughter’s heart.
Beth Learn says
Very well said. It’s more blessed to give that to receive, but it’s a lost art in this selfish world. Not that you’re selfish, but it’s nice to be affirmed. I need words! That’s my love language!